So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
