I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
