smell my finger.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize