dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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