it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
