Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!