First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!