Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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(404): View more from Georgia

He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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(765): View more from Indiana

looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...

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(650): View more from California

I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(620): View more from Kansas

It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.

(856): View more from New Jersey

dear god, who put you in a cab?

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(206): View more from Washington

Peanut butter balls.

(1-206): View more from Washington

IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD

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(615): View more from Tennessee

and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"

(615): View more from Tennessee

which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Fuck me I smell like cheese

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