a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Duck Duck Cougar?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.