Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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