Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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