It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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