I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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