I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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