at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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