what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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