I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize