Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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