One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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