omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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