So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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