the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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