So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
