I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
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you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
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So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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