FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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