True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize