Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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