Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.