My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize