hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
