Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
