dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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