names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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