the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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