its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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