So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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