Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
COCAINE IS GR8
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize