its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so let's talk penis.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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