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Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize