A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
