Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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