I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
