I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dicks are not precious.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
