I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
