i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
