tell your sister to shave her snatch
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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