where does the pee come out of this thing
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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