i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
