She said her name was "party"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
