I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
