I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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