how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
