Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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