Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
