im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
