After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
