Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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