i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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