drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
