please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
