we made out on top of his cat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize