I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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