You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize