yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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