it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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